Holiday poem

'Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I'd nibbled, I thought just to taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales I saw such a number! What a nightmare it brought, when I tried to slumber. I'd remember the meals I did prepare; The gravies and sauces and beef quite rare, The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese Oh how I should have said, "No thank you, please." As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt And prepared once again to do battle with girth. I said to myself, as I only can "You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!" So - away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip Every last bit of food that I like must be banished" Till all the additional ounces have vanished. I won't have a cookie - not even a lick. I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick. I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore - But isn't that what January's for? Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!